Units don't count as Pets!
by Minako the Dragon Maiden of DW
Summary: "I supposed not to click that ad." Let's see how Marionette 'Marion' Yeoh taking care of her incoming 'pets' aka Hetalia Units.
1. Ch1: Marion vs the Stubborn Pop-up Ad

Units don't count as Pets!

**A/N:** I didn't write a fanfic for 6-7 years and this is my first time writing a Hetalia fanfic. Okay, listen, I don't own Hetalia or Hidekaz Himaruya will kill me.

* * *

Chapter 1

"Tadaima!" a girl…no, I should say woman, called out at a house after work. Okay, this girl…eh…woman was me. I'm Marionette Yeoh, Marion for short (no, don't call me that full name, Doll or Mary. I'M NOT A 'MARY-HAS-A-LITTLE-LAMB'! (Bloody Mary, I…could accept)), 24 going to 25, a Malaysian Chinese, have a dark brown nearly black middle length hair and my eyes were same color as my hair, usually wore monochrome colored spec (purple spec for work), 5'2" (that didn't satisfy me; I knew that was because of my family gene but for Americans, I looked like 15 or 16 to them!) and I was a computer technician in the computer shop. Well, I was a lonely, single person who could care less finding love. Even though I knew that at the age 25, there would be no hope for marriage but I wasn't really interested. D: And no, I didn't fall for girls because I wasn't a les! I just had some sort of bipolar personalities. Sometimes I could be hyper, childish and loved to laugh and sometimes I could be quiet, a wallflower (Canada much…), cool, emo, violent (yes, Bloody Mary) and of course, couldn't laugh hard. I was in fact a well….my parents wouldn't allow me to become that person, an otaku. I loved to play video games, watch anime, drawing, read manga and some fanfictions (yes, including yaoi). Lately, I've read a lot of fanfictions about Hetalia, thanked to my Skype friend.

I looked around the house. Strange though, usually I always heard Mom or Dad yelling at me for speaking Japanese that they fortunately didn't understand. But now, it was very silent until I could hear the wind blowing. Putting down my sling pouch on the couch, I walked and looked around in each room. Yep, no one was here until I noticed a post-on note which was written in Chinese and pressed by a magnet with clay teddy bear's head at the fridge as I walked in to the kitchen. I took off the note and read,

'_Ah Xuan_ (okay, Xiao Xuan was my other name. Ah Xuan was that nickname that my parents usually called me),

_Sorry for not telling you that we, along with Ah Xin, are going to visit Ah Ling at Seoul and stay at her place for three months. We know you can take care of yourself and this house. Oh, we leave you some money as well. Enough for three months, so don't spend too much._

_Love,_

_Mom & Dad_

_P.s: Btw, you're allowed to have a pet. Make sure you have responsibility to take care of it properly.'_

Elene Xiao Ling Yeoh and Cindy Xiao Xin Yeoh, they were my younger sisters. Elene, 22, was currently studying at Seoul while Cindy, 18, just finished her final exam. I usually thought I was different because they have better reputation and good results while I was like some sort of a black sheep or a failure in my family. Hey, at least my parents didn't dump me away.

I stared at the note for a while after reading. "So…they left me to take care of the house. Does that mean…?" I muttered as one of my eyes twitched. Then, just like Macaulay Culkin's Kevin from first Home Alone movie, I hyperactively ran around the house, screaming. "I'M FREEEE!"

* * *

(8:30 p.m, after shower)

I was multi-tasking on my laptop (basically reading Hetalia fanfictions, Facebook gaming, abusing some Hetalia shimeji while eating my ramen). Good thing, I had no work tomorrow and Saturday, so I thought of going to pet shop to buy a cat tomorrow (you see, I was a cat person).

As I read half way, a pop-up ad suddenly appeared in front of the fanfic that I was still reading. "Hey!" I called. I tried to scroll down the fanfic, using the mouse but that ad still stuck at the screen. I could imagine that stubborn pop-up ad was taunting me and saying _'Haha, I won't leave until you click'_. "Oh really?" I muttered (while having invisible vein pops on my forehead) and decided to close the laptop. Then, I restarted it again and…that baka pop-up ad still appeared as I checked on Gaia Online. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE?!" I was frustrated and decided to take a look on it.

_Free Hetalia Units!_

_Free Shipping!_

_Press 'Okay'_

"Is that all?" I muttered again. Most of the ads that I saw were games and offers, some required email address and personal details. Well, I was usually a careful one if came for Internet. If I noticed that required personal details, I would skip by closing the ads. Of course, I would scan the threat by using anti-virus. Since that ad has no 'X' button and my anti-virus couldn't detect any threat on that ad, so, I clicked 'Okay' to check it out and the unexpected thing happened.

_Thank you for your purchase! Your first two units will be delivered in 12 hours from now._

Staring at the sentence, I was totally speechless and plopped my head on the keyboard of the laptop.

"Oh great…I supposed not to click that ad. T^T"

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, done this chapter. I would like to explain why her name is like that. Yeo/Yeoh is actually Yang (杨) in Hokkien and Teochew. It's quite common in Singapore and Malaysia. Xiao Xuan's Chinese word is 晓玹 (xiǎo xuán) (I'm lazy to put on the Hokkien name). Why Marionette? No idea, that word came to my mind, so I'll make it as her name or Marion for short.


	2. Ch2: Meet China & America

**A/N:** Sorry for not updating too long. *bows* I was busy lately but I promise I would update. Btw, I don't own Hetalia (again, that mangaka would kill me) and also the manual (which belongs to that person who used to be named as LolliDictator).

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Chapter 2

(Next morning, 8:30 a.m)

"DING DONG…"

I stirred in my sleep as I dreamed of Miku fighting against a giant evil Miku Hachune with a leek bazooka on her hands. "5 more minutes…"

"DING DONG…DING DONG…"

"Okay, I'm up! I'm up! Bèn ménlíng (Stupid door bell)!" I got up from my bed and walked to the front door. Well, I was pretty much a late riser and never liked to get disturbed especially on Friday and Saturday (only when I was forced to get up for work). Getting changed without a shower (there wasn't any time for one, so I just threw on something that looked presentable), I rushed to the front door but peeked first through the window cautiously on habit. There was a guy wearing a mint green polo t-shirt, black pants, a same colored cap (WAIT, DID I JUST NOTICE BUNNY EARS ON THE CAP?!) on his head and a clipboard on his hand. Behind him, it was a white colored truck and has a mint green bunny with floppy ears logo on it. "Who is he? A Noiz fan?" I muttered since mint green plus bunny equal to Noiz from that BL game named DRAMAtical Murder. He was the one who pressed the door bell. I guessed he was a deliveryman.

Out of curiosity, I opened the door and walked to the green gate (yes, my house has an electronic gate) where the deliveryman waiting outside. I took a closer look at him; he was tall, had black hair covered by his cap, the same colored eyes and slight tan skin.

"Hello. Are you Marionette Yeoh?" he asked.

"Yes, it's my name. Why?"

"We're from Flying Mint Bunny Corp." he said. "And you've purchased free Hetalia units yesterday."

_"Yesterday?"_ I was confused, tilting my head until I realized something. Oh yeah, that pop-up ad that I tried to 'fight' against and I lost to it. But wait, HOW DID THAT COMPANY KNOW ABOUT MY ADDRESS?!

"Our company could detect your IP address." The guy with green cap spoke as he could read my expression. Okay, that makes sense… "Still, I need you to sign here." He brought out a pen and gave his clipboard to me.

Without hesitating, I signed it right away. After I was done, the two guys who were with him, took out two big boxes that could fit a human inside and wheeled them into my house, one box at a time. I gave the clipboard along with the pen back to him and at the same time, I looked at his name tag. _"Joe, huh?"_

"Thank you, Miss. Your next two units will come in next two days." Joe said.

_"WHAT?! THERE'RE MORE?!"_ I mentally screamed. Oh please, I already have a lot of surprises and shocks for two days in a row.

"Oh, you better read them first." He handed me two manuals and I looked at him, confused. "And I'll be going now. Have a nice morning."

I just stared at the truck as Joe and the other guys drove away. "Eh…bye?"

Looking at the two manuals still wrapped in plastic, I closed the gate and walked back to my house. The two large boxes were there, waiting for me to open. I kept looking around the boxes to search for something to open it up but there were nothing. As I knew from most of the Hetalia units fanfiction, they required something for their activation. That meant I needed to check out the manuals first.

So, I picked the first manual, unwrapped the wrapping and read the title. "'YAO WANG: USER GUIDE AND MANUAL'. Look like a Chinese will get a Chinese unit, huh?" I read the technical specifications and I felt my cheeks redden when I read the length part. "Did I have to know that detail?" Of course, I liked yaoi but it didn't mean that I would look at that 'stuff'.

Ignoring the dirty thoughts about yaoi, I continued reading until I reached the end of the manual. Why did I have to read all of it first instead of just the removal section? Well, it was because I needed to make sure that I didn't get the wrong units. Good thing, I read pretty fast. Plus, I didn't see how long it would take to get the units up after receiving them in the manual.

I grabbed the other manual and read the title. "'ALFRED F. JONES: USER GUIDE AND MANUAL'. Lucky…" I muttered sarcastically. I just had to get the loud-mouthed America on my hands. Like the first manual, I did the same. After reading, I looked up the clock. It was about 9:45a.m. I supposed it was time to take a shower soon since I just changed my clothes to receive my units. So, I decided to wake China first since he was a sane nation as I knew.

I re-read the manual again.

_'**Removal of your YAO WANG Unit from Packaging**_

_YAO WANG is actually a very happy and sweet person by nature, but if he is moved or woken up incorrectly he will turn violent. In order to ensure that you don't accidentally kill yourself or destroy your properties, we have provided a list of safe ways with which to awaken your unit._

_1. Sing the Chinese national anthem as horribly off-tune and badly pronounced as you can. Your unit will wake up and shout about your terrible pronunciation, and while this will result in a few hours' worth of lessons on Mandarin; to avoid this, you can reprogram him as soon as YAO WANG breaks out of his box._

_2. Play Japanese, Korean or Cantonese music near the box. To the first, he will call happily for Japan; to the second, he will yell for Korea to shut up; for the third, he will bust out of the box and search for his youngest brother. After whichever response, he will turn to you and ask where whichever of his brothers are, and you can reprogram him._

_3. Speak in Russian. Your unit will not respond, and you can take the lid off; he will jump you right away, so it is advised to duck as soon as you remove the lid._'

"Option 2 then." I picked it because I had some Jpop and Kpop songs in my laptop. The reason I didn't choose Option 1 or 3 was because: a) I did KNOW Chinese but it didn't mean I was born in China... unless you were a foreigner and you wanted to sing the national anthem horribly on purpose... And b) I didn't know how to speak Russian unless…_he_ came.

So I brought my laptop close to the box and chose Utada Hikaru's 'Can You Keep a Secret?' I hit play and turned the volume as loud as I could without waking the neighbors up. Immediately, the box shook and the lid suddenly flew off, almost hitting my sisters' precious piano. (I hated to say this but Elene and Cindy were fond of it. A single scratch will send me to doom) A guy who appeared to look like China jumped out of the box.

"KIKU!" China exclaimed happily, but then noticed me gaping at him in shock. I was still holding my laptop. "Oh, you're not Kiku, aru."

"Sorry, I'm not." I took a look at him. He looked like the one in the anime. I checked on his back, looking at his programming. Okay, he was in his default mode. "Nǐ hǎo, Zhōngguó. Wǒ de míngzì jiào Yáng xiǎo xuán (Hello, China. My name is Yang Xiao Xuan)." I introduced myself.

"Wǒ jiào Wáng yào. Nǐ huì shuō huáyǔ (I'm Wang Yao. You can speak Chinese)!" Yao spoke and was glad to see someone who could speak his language.

"Shì, wǒ shì huárén (Yes, I'm a Chinese)." I replied. Without me noticing, he…picked me up and hugged me all of the sudden.

"YOU'RE SO CUTE, ARU!" he exclaimed in Chinese happily. (A/N: Lazy to translate the pinyin, so I have to use this way)

"Neh!" I squeaked and felt my cheek redden again as I got hugged. I could feel the warmth from his body. Wait, unit meant robot, right? But he looked so human-like! "Y-Yao, personal space, please…"

"Oh, sorry, aru." He apologized and put me down.

"By the way, I have other name as Marionette. You can call me Marion or Xiao Xuan if you wish. Plus, I'm 24, going to 25 actually." I spoke in Chinese and he gave me a 'are-you-serious?!' look. "Yes, I'm older than you, according to your manual."

"But you look 15 or 16, aru!"

"Everyone also thought the same." I rolled my eyes as I knew I always got mistaken as a teenager because: 1. I was just 5'2" and 2. I always wore simple T-shirt and jeans and didn't wear any makeup.

Later, my stomach growled. Oh yeah, I forgot the time for breakfast as well. "Yao, you can use the kitchen behind the dining room. I'll open the other box later." I spoke to him (in Chinese again), showing him the way to kitchen.

"Why, aru?"

"One, I didn't take a bath and eat my breakfast yet since I have to receive you and that American after I woke up and two, I don't want _him_ ruining a perfect morning." I answered, referring _him_ as America.

Yao nodded as he understood. "I see. How about…I make breakfast for you, aru?"

"Okay, thanks, Yao." I was glad that he was the first to be activated.

* * *

After the shower and breakfast (thanks to Yao), I was ready to activate the second unit aka Alfred J. Jones. "Let's see…" I flipped the manual to check out the removal section.

_'**Removal of your ALFRED F. JONES from Packaging:**_

_Your ALFRED F. JONES unit is a happy, energetic unit - for the most part - and there are rarely any problems with waking him up. It is impossible to accidentally knock him into a dangerous mode when removing him from his package; the most you need to worry about is him being _too_ happy and energetic. In order to avoid that, we have provided you with a few ways that you can wake him carefully and get right to work on any reprogramming you might want to do!_

_1. Play the American national anthem, or any patriotic American song. Loudly. Your unit will respond immediately, singing horribly out-of-tune until the song is over; you can reprogram him during this time, and the faster you do this the faster he'll stop singing. _(Really?)

_2. Put on a kid's superhero show or movie (preferably Superman or Batman) loud enough to be heard down the street. Your unit will whine for you to let him out of the box, and will run to the television as soon as you do. While he watches, you can reprogram him; however, be warned that if your chosen superhero is prone to striking heroic poses, your unit might jump up and do them as well. _(Sorry, I didn't watch those)

_3. Speak with a British accent or in Russian. ALFRED F. JONES will reply positively to the first one, and a little coldly to the second, but he will get up anyway. _(I liked British accent and could speak a little but…)

_4. Turn on his Tony unit. He'll insult you, ALFRED F. JONES will wake up shaking with laughter, and you'll be able to reprogram him then. _(Eh…I rather heard from Lovino/Romano =_=;;; )_'_

"Maybe…Option 1 then." I muttered, grabbing my laptop and typing in 'The Star-Spangled Banner' on Youtube.

"Xiao Xuan, are you sure that you want to do this option, aru?" Yao asked.

"Just testing." I replied shortly. Actually, I could also do Option 3 but thinking of one of those Hetalia fanfics, I decided not to do it. I didn't want to get KO-ed and ruin the piano by a flying lid. I started playing the song on my laptop.

_"__Oh, say, can you see, by the dawn's early light_  
_What so proudly we hailed at the twilight's lasted gleaming?_  
_Whose broad stripes and bright stars, through the perilous fight,_  
_O 'er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming."_

Halfway through, another voice broke in and started singing along.

"And the rockets' red glare, the bombs bursting in air,**  
**Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there!"

Okay, he could sing but… HE TOTALLY SANG OUT OF TUNE LIKE THE MANUAL MENTIONED! Feeling the hair on my arms raise up, I wished the song would finish soon. Fortunately, it finished just when I made that wish.

"Yao, can you help me open the box before he hurts our ears?" I asked him for help. He nodded and gave me a hand. Together, we opened the box and an American jumped out of the box.

"Hey, dude and dudette! I'm Alfred F. Jones, United States of America and I'm the Hero!" he introduced himself, striking a heroic pose.

Yao and I just stared at America. If this was an anime, we would be sweatdropping by now. "Eh…hi? I'm Marionette and you can call me Marion." I greeted him in English (last time I talked to Yao in Chinese) and…I 'got caught' again by getting patted on head by Alfred.

"YOU'RE SHORT!" Alfred exclaimed, not to mention he was too loud and gave a whole neighborhood a fright. I mentally facepalmed, _"This'll be a long day."_

* * *

(11:30 a.m, going to noon)

I decided to let them temporarily stay in Elene's room since I wasn't sure that how many more Units I would be receiving in the next few days. I also needed to explain to my family about that too. I wouldn't mind Yao but Alfred was a special case, since he definitely acted like a foreigner here. I also told them that they were currently living in a town, in my home country Malaysia. As they settled their things, I moved the two boxes, one by one, to the storeroom beside the kitchen. Then I thought of something. If the Units kept coming to my house and I had to stack each of their boxes one by one in this storeroom, would it look like some kind of cemetery? (A/N: Wow, Marion, you have quite 'good' imagination. *sweatdrop*)

After everything was settled, it was time for lunch. Alfred whined that he wanted to go to McDonalds and I ended up agreeing with him because he apparently had a gift card (saving money was nice). There was one problem though: how were we going to convince Yao to come with us?

"Bù yào (No), aru! There's no way I join you two to eat those craps, aru!" Yao declined.

"But Yao, we've decided to go there for lunch." I said, frowning.

"And you America!" he pointed at Alfred. "You still owe me a million _yuan_!"

"Dude, I promise to pay you back! But a hero can't wait for his lunch break!" Alfred spoke, trying to skip over that topic.

As they continued to quarrel, I suddenly remembered a McDonalds flyer that I kept yesterday and had an idea.

"Hey, Yao. Take a look." I showed him the flyer and gave him time to read. His annoyed face brightened into a smile.

"Oh! Why don't you say anything about this? Let's go, aru!" the Chinese man rushed off to change to his casual attire.

"That's awesome, dudette! How did you do that?" Alfred asked, looking at me, admiring the fact that no one had ever managed convince a Chinese man to go to that fast food store.

"One Hello Kitty for each McValue Meal." I showed him that McDonald flyer, giving him a triumphant grin. "But I like Hello Kitty too!"

In the end, Alfred had his hamburgers while Yao and I collected a lot of Hello Kitties thanks to his many orders. But needless to say, Yao was also content that he could eat the chicken porridge that was in this McDonald's menu.

* * *

**A/N:** It's true that McDonald is currently selling four versions of Hello Kitty (dress as four McDonald mascots) at my place (Malaysia) and Korea (as I know, they sold in 1-2 months earlier), so does the chicken porridge. Yes, as long there's a Hello Kitty involved, China won't mind to get into it (even McDonald has them on sale). Btw, please review.


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